The first lie they heard from a small child, becomes for the parents a complete surprise. Fortunately, you can still correct the situation by slightly changing the style of education.
Imagine you are peacefully reading a book on the couch, when suddenly on your lap your cat jumps, smeared with ketchup. In the apartment, but you and baby there’s no one, and the cat just could not get the ketchup out of the fridge and pour it on his head. You call a six year old son to answer, but he innocently denies it. Here it is: the first encounter with cheating from a child’s mouth. You always talked about how bad it is to cheat, why didn’t he grasp it?
One of the most obvious reasons why children lie, is the fear to be punished for his actions. The child is difficult, to be honest, if he knows what the answer will be confronted with physical force, humiliation or accusations. It is difficult to blame the children – we are doing the same thing if confronted with an angry boss at work.
Another reason for cheating is that the child is afraid to lose your good attitude. No child wants to disappoint their parents – they better lie than admit that you are a bad thought about them.
And finally, children are always interesting reverse reaction – that is why they often tell outlandish stories to impress.
Unfortunately, the practice of severe punishment for lying creates a vicious circle: the more you scold, the less they want the next time to tell the truth. Instead, try to create for the child a safe environment in which not afraid to speak the truth.
Here are seven ways how to achieve it.
1. Don’t shout
If your kids are screaming at the slightest infraction, they do not feel safe to tell you the truth. Always try to talk to your child in a calm voice (although it can be very, very hard). And focus on is to always look for a solution to the problem, not the blame.
2. Let your child save face
Never ask questions that you already know the answer. For example, instead of threatening “have You finished your homework?” try asking “What are you going to do to finish your homework?”. If the child is really have not prepared lessons, he will be able to save face by telling you my plan, instead of to invent a lie.
3. Focus on his feelings
If the child is lying, try to understand why he decided he can’t be honest with you. And instead to convict him of lying, say, “That sounds like a story made for me. Maybe you got scared to tell the truth. Let’s talk about it”. In response you will receive an honest answer and a lot of useful information that will help you better understand your child.
4. Rate the honesty is appreciated
If children told the truth (even unpleasant), give them their due: “it Must have been tough to decide to tell me what really happened. I respect your courage, it’s the adult thing to do.”
5. Goodbye error
Error is a way to make the right choices in the future. If children know that you will not be angry or disappointed, they will be honest with you. Try to talk about how there’d been a child in the future, if it happened to him too? What would he have done differently? If your child somehow impact on other people, be sure to discuss this with him.
6. Like children
Often tell the children that you love and will love them whatever they’ve done. There is nothing that can change your love.
7. Don’t lie to yourself
Remember that little eyes and ears always on the alert. And if you are not able to tell the truth, when you cheated in a cafe, or a fifth up with an excuse why you can’t participate in donations to repair the school, be prepared that all the children will repeat after you.
Source: today.com Anna Stachura