“When it comes to my children, I forget about personal space. Or maybe I’m just used to Wake in the night with a small foot on its stomach, a child’s palm on his cheek or the fact that a tiny finger picking my ear.”
The mother of two children, she separated from her husband when their youngest daughter was a year and a half. She has always been a supporter of a joint dream with young children, but never imagined that it will last until the daughter turns six years old. But now Claire Gillespie even more confirmed in his opinion: co-sleeping mother with a child is for the benefit of both. And here’s why:
“In defense of my daughter (in the eyes of the most ardent opponents of a joint dream) I will say that our circumstances were very different from those under which growing up her older brother. When she was 18 months I left my husband and I started having severe period of stress and uncertainty. Her little warm body warms me in bed, being with her gave strength. And given the many changes in our lives, it was not the right time to move her to a separate bed.
When everything calmed down and we moved into a new house with a nursery, I thought now she will begin to sleep separately. She was 2 years old, and every day she became more independent. She was fearless, played the most adventurous games with her brother and did not cry, breaking the knee, or argue with other children.
But when the night came, she needed me and could go to sleep just holding my hand. And I do too.
The next few years I regularly asked her the question if she wants to sleep in their separate beds? I have had periods when I was worried that encourage the habit.
Friends shared their stories of how they managed to relocate the children to another room. But when I tried to follow their advice, I felt I was making a mistake. The daughter was crying and didn’t fall asleep, I feel bad that she’s ill. In the end, I said to myself, if her presence in my bed does not cause either of us discomfort, why should we stop it?
The fact that she continued to sleep in the same bed with the mother, did not affect her development and social skills. Well she went to kindergarten, was easily bonded with the other children, rarely sick, happy remained with his father and was always glad when they come back for more.
I can’t tell, did my status as a single mother to a difference in the education of my two children, but it would be wrong to rule it out. It is easy to share a bed with a child, when only two of you. If the bedroom is third person, you become close, you don’t get enough sleep and quarrel because of this.
However, I can’t say that I have taken a vow of celibacy. I went out and I had men – but only when the children were staying at his father. I was not going to introduce the kids to anyone until you decide that this person can become a part of our lives for a long time.
How it so happened that at the age of 6 years, my girl decided that they were ready to sleep separately? The only answer that comes to my mind – she was ready for it. It was her decision, and we did not make a night of sobbing into my pillow.
Of course, what works in one family does not necessarily work in another. Joint sleep up to six years is our personal way. And if I ever third kid, I will not hesitate to do the same: never banish him from your bed for as long as he will not be ready for this.”
Source: goodhousekeeping.com Anna Stachura