Specialist Dating and relationships Matthew Hussey, who often gives good advice to our readers, noticed that a paradox: precisely those people who have been close and know each other, often can not agree on how to make a night of each other’s magic. Why is this happening and how to fix it?
It would seem that one of the greatest advantages of a permanent relationship: you’re with someone whom you trust and who are not afraid to embark on a study of the unknown, right? Who knows better than beloved husband, where we have a button?
If you are together for one night only, you don’t know where your partner’s boundaries are reasonable, they do not know the secrets of his favorite ways of enjoyment.
But, because of the profession every year talking to thousands of men and women, Matthew was surprised to realize that for a huge number of couples the opposite is true.
Long-term partners know about each other sexually less and less. Moreover, if tomorrow they will leave and spend the night with random people,then most likely, that night remake more than always dreamed of, than in recent years with the person you love. A study published in the Canadian journal of human sexuality”, confirms this: “the longer our romantic relationships, the less we tend to take risks and try something new in bed“.
Why is this happening? We psychologically easier to confess your exotic desires and to test new models of sexual behavior to the random partner for the night. In a serious relationship we hesitate, afraid to hurt his wife or husband (“So you weren’t happy all the time?”) or what will judge us (“What? You want to use a sex toy? Are you a pervert?”).
And what have we got? Couples who lick porn movies that demonstrate various deviation, or erotic literature, but continue to engage in routine sex with her husband.
Maybe it’s not about you. Perhaps you are one of those lucky people who is free from bedding systems. If so, continue to swing on the chandeliers and dripping molten wax on each other’s bodies. But even if you feel that you have a sexual harmony,is to ask ourselves: “Maybe my partner would like to try something, what I still don’t know?” After all, the more satisfied will be your favorite,the more he will be satisfied with the relationship as a whole.
If we want our relationship was and remained fully we need a culture of opennessthat allows us to ask our second half is about their intimate desires and encourage them to do the same.
Matthew cites his girlfriend, who asked this: “Tell me what else I could do to you? Tell me what you want to try it, even if it’s something strange? I wish we enjoyed exploring the fantasies of each other”. “Thanks to this I was free to show his true self, “he admits.
To talk openly about sex is not the only way to diversify. Making bold sexual moves, you can encourage your partner to decide on what to do the same. You can stand before him in a wig completely changes your appearance. Or insinuate that you’re not away with him to look in the sex shop (maybe you can find something you both have wanted to try but were afraid to say?). All of this will show that you’re open to experiments.
Understanding can grow from jokes, from hints. For example, you are walking, playing around,and he jokingly slaps you on the ass, and you whisper to him that it excites you, and you’re not averse to it sometime spank you harder. Together or you are watching a movie and some hot scene and one of you says, “Wow, this is hot. Wanted I’d try.”
When we begin to perceive their own partners as the best candidate for the implementation of all our secret sexual desires, then the myth that to enter into a monogamous relationship — so to say goodbye to the sex of your dreams will melt like morning mist.